Several years ago, I ran a gimmick blog post in which my then 8-year old daughter Anna and I watched the Academy Awards red carpet pre-show and made commentary. Anna is older and wiser now, but still manages to render an opinion on most subjects. I sat down with her to watch the Super Bowl (i.e., the big copyrighted sports telecast not to be mentioned by name) and see if she had anything to offer. There were parts that made her put aside Harry Potter long enough to pay attention.
Anna on the first drive of the game: ‘Dad? What’s a quarterback? Do you have to put quarters into his back?”
“Yeah. This one looks like he needs a lot more quarters.”
On Audi’s “Bravery” spot: ” Wow! Do you think they really punched that guy in the face?”
“I think the black eye is just painted on. People can’t really just punch each other.”
“Oh. It would have been more real if they had.”
Regarding Oreo’s cream vs. cookie ad in which the actors burn down a library: “What’s the difference. It’s just a cookie.”
Anna’s first impression of Raven’s quarterback Joe Flacco: “He looks like Simon Cowell.”
On the lack of progress writing this post: “Any farther? Yeah. I didn’t think so.”
On Beyoncé: “Oohh that’s flaming. What the heck? Where is she? Too much fire. She needs to dress more appropriately. Where’s her kid?”
(then, mercifully, Anna went off to brush her teeth and missed much of Beyoncé’s um, light show. She returned for the Destiny’s Child reunion to ask “What is this? A freak show, or something?” Even Anna, the skeptical pre-teenager, had to admit that Beyoncé is extremely pretty.)
Anna, amid much protest, went to bed just ahead of the first half. Someday, I’ll go over what makes up a first down with her (again) and try to steer her away from the suffering of a being a Lions fan for life. Maybe, before she’s too old to appreciate, the Lions will go to a Super Bowl and we won’t have to worry about the commercials. Thanks to the miracles of medical science, maybe I’ll be alive when that happens in Super Bowl CCCIV. That will be a lights out game.